I want to be in a sisterhood... of travelling pants.

One fateful day, a group of four best friends stumble upon a pair of pants that somehow fit each one of them perfectly. This magical pair of pants goes with them as they come across hard life challenges, face their fears and blossom into adulthood. Thus creating the greatest movie of all time.

Shit is amazing. I'm not even afraid to admit it.

I saw it on the first night I arrived in Denver, Colorado (for a barbershop convention) after about 14 straight hours of travel time. Jet lagged off my tits, slightly dizzy from the climate change, alone in a hotel room, and unable to sleep; I turned on the TV. I flicked through the ridiculous amount of channels trying to find something to watch. After getting over the funny situation of watching Spanish soap operas I couldn't understand, and not being able to find any porn (what's up with that shit?), I decided I would try one more channel before I give up and look at the ceiling until I pass out. I can't remember the exact number I pressed but for the sake of this story I'll say 87. Wait no, I'll say 69. Haha, 69! Instantly I was drawn into this world of friendship, love, laughter, comical mishaps, and serious drama. This world of the sisterhood.

There was Lena, a girl who's insecurities stop her from feeling love and living life to the fullest; Carmen, a bubbly personality who's positive outlook on life and idolization of her father gets shattered when she discovers he has a whole new life kept secret from her; Bridget, her father couldn't handle the passing of her mother and became distant, she now searches for that needed male connection in anyone with a dong. Then there's Tibby, a budding film maker who finds an unlikely friend in a 12 year old girl called Bailey... Who has cancer. Fucking cancer! Do you know how sad that shit is? She dies at the end! What the fuck!?

Divorce, sickness, death and depression - It's like they tried to find everything that brings out  intense emotion in people and then put it in to one big package of sadness. I was half expecting someone to start beating up a puppy.

I cried like a bitch until the end when it all came together in a sisterhood hug of forgiveness, closure, and happiness. I then finally fell asleep.

The next day I emailed my girlfriend to tell her about how my life had just changed and that we should all learn to enjoy every day and never take anything for granted. How it was unfair that Bailey died because she was just an innocent little girl, how I hoped that Tibby would one day become an accomplished filmmaker, and that it was great that Lena is now comfortable in her own body.

And that's the story about how I almost lost my girlfriend by getting way to involved in a movie aimed at 13 year old girls.

Wait, what just happened?


Oh, don't waste your time with part two. It's shit.

"Blog" my ass, this is a "Blog Blog"

You know what sucks? Having a job. That's why I quit mine. I've been working at the same computer retailer for about three years, started off as a salesman and then moved to the service department. Both were shit. Well, to be fair they actually started off pretty fun, but the flashing lights and promise of a retail career quickly faded and became dark. I blame the customers. Being a salesperson would be sweet if customers weren't around. You could just hang out all day, playing with computers n shit. But no, unfortunately to be a salesperson you need to have people to sell to. Those people are customers. The worst kind of people. I'm pretty sure most people at most times are at least semi-decent, but as soon as they become customers, all logic and pleasantries go out the door and you're left with this soul sucking beast that knows everything and hates you. You're the bitch and they are king. Imagine taking part in a s&m dominatrix type thing. Now take out the sex. That's what retail is:
Angry and painful sex just without the sex.

With that little rant out of the way, we can continue. I've decided to try and live off making music and videos. Don't have a full plan yet, but I've joined a covers band and will play at bars about twice a week. That, mixed in with the occasional wedding and corporate gig, should be able to cover rent. On top of that I'm going to do other freelance music type stuff. Recording, composing, arranging, that sort of thing. Hopefully, if I get enough of those, I'll be able to buy food and the occasional PlayStation game. With those gigs bringing in the money, I'll be able to focus during the day on doing what I really want to do - Make funny music and videos, get rich and famous, bang heaps of chicks. If my girlfriend is reading this, the last one was a joke.

So yeah, things are changing for me. Shit's getting real. Hopefully it all works out. If it doesn't, there is always the joy of retail to go back to. I'm gonna go and try make my website looks pretty.

Till next time.


Note: I wanted to title this: "Blog" my ass, this is a "Blog Blog" mother fuck. I didn't though because I thought it may have been a little to vulgar.